Deception of Big Tobacco

    A thunderous clap assaulted us as Jack’s hand slammed into the conference table, reverberating around the room. Jack was a sight to behold at a tall 6’3, his face contorted in a frustrated scowl, his eyes darted at the six other men and women around the table.“Damnit people! We’re selling cigarettes not atomic weapons! These studies are scaring the hell out of people and I need you to deal with this now!” Jack demanded.“Betty!” he shouted as he pointed in the direction of a plump and sweating women seated on the other end of the table, “get me a new slogan! We want something snappy and new! Stay away from doctors or scientific mumbo jumbo, our customers shouldn’t be reminded of that horseshit!” Jack’s whole face tensed and veiny as he assaulted betty with instructions, saliva blasting from his mouth, his chin violently attacking the air as he shouted.

“Bill!” he shouted, changing the direction of his expletive filled rant to a middle aged grey haired man sitting directly to Jack’s left who appeared to be avoiding his gaze, “Where in the hell is our new filtered line! You told me it would be in full production in six months and its been eight!” Jack paused for his chest to rise again and fill with oxygen, his lungs heavy from chain smoking, while Bill’s eyes darted around and his mouth stuttered for a retort. Before he could respond, Jack started his tirade again, his face drawing closer to Bill’s with every word. “I don’t want any of your excuses Bill, I can get anyone off the street to do your job for pennies on the hour, get it done by the end of the week or your ass is fired!” he demanded, spittle spraying Bill’s wrinkled face. Jack straightened up again and gestured his arm around the table bluntly stating, “Now get out of my site all of you! This is the easiest sales job on the fucking planet, they start and can’t stop, just do your goddamn jobs.” The conference room emptied as if it had just been struck by gunfire, every senior employee escaping Jack’s wrath.

Jack’s hand ruffled at his neck, returning his tie to its neat original state, as he diverted his attention out the nearby window surveying the city. His eyes slowly wrapped their way along the horizon of the freeways surrounding the building. “This aint over Luther,” he murmured, “I ain’t giving up so easy, you want a war on your hands, you got one. No surgeon general and scientific research is going to ruin my company”

A loud noise coincided with a bright green flash behind Jack, forcing him to avert his eyes and clasp his ears. He whipped around as the acrid smell of burning fabric rushed to his nostrils, his eyes searching for the source of this. In front of him lay a two shimmering figures which had not been present a second ago. Both figures were grainy and almost digital in nature, not truly in the room with Jack. The one to Jack’s left a tall latino man dressed in a vest suit, looking at Jack in amazement. The figure to Jack’s right was a shorter women attired in a blouse and slacks, with a similar expression of astonishment.

“Who...What…..The hell are you!!” Jack sputtered at the ghostly figures before him. The man responded in a visceral distorted voice,

“We are from the Institute of Tobacco History.” The woman then cut in adding onto his statement,

”I can’t believe we finally get to meet the famous Jack Limbert, practical savior of humanity!” Jack’s eyebrows furrowed as he questioned,

“what in the hell are you talking about you ghastly demons!” The man snorted and retorted,

“we are no demons, simply travelers attempting to experience a bit of history!” Jack’s voice became exasperated,

“what the hell are you talking about, who are you people and what in the hell is the Institute of Tobacco this and that.” The man was taken aback but his shimmering image’s eyebrows raised as he responded,

“sorry, we were just really caught up in the moment. I am Andreas and this is Clarisse, we are from the Institute of Tobacco History in Boston. We are from the year 2055 and wanted to be in the company of the great Monbira CEO, Jack Limbert!”

Shaking his head, Jack sat back against the wall, sliding until he hit the ground, looking at the visceral figures before him. ¨Assuming you glittery ghost are giving me accurate information, why the hell am I so important?¨ Jack questioned. Clarisse cut in announcing,

¨you and you alone were able to sway the public to smoke again, saving millions of lives every year. Without you, our civilization would have died out long ago!” Jack furrowed his brows,

“so, the scientific studies were bunkus? Cigarettes don't really cause cancer?” Clarisse and Andreas both chortled simultaneously, their images distorting with the tempo of their laughter.

¨No, no, no,¨ Andreas responded,¨of course they cause cancer, emphysema, tons of other effects that can kill you.” Clarisse once again cut in to clarify, her face beaming as she stated,

¨but all of those effects can now be cured and even with the effects, smoking is far better than the alternative.¨ Jack, still confused, inquired,

¨what do you mean by that exactly?¨ Andreas walked, or more accurately glided, towards Jack, causing Jack to stiffen slightly.

¨In the last 20th century and early 21st century, an epidemic gripped larger and larger portions of the population of the world, obesity. Billions of people became fat and obese, cutting decades off their lives, costing trillions in healthcare and drastically lowered workplace productivity.¨ Clarisse continued, ¨for you see, once everyone quit smoking, they stopped getting nicotine, which is a stimulant and suppresses hunger.¨ Jack nodded his head,

¨so you’re saying that everyone got fat and started dying because they stopped smoking?¨

¨Yep!” Andreas responded,¨however, thanks to our visit right now, you are able to sway the public with this knowledge, and everyone is able to continue smoking!¨

¨Okay so let me get this straight,” Jack stated slowly as he raised from the ground wiping his dripping brow with his handkerchief. ¨You want me to spread the word so people keep smoking?¨ Jack stated.

¨Thats correct,” Clarisse responded, ¨you have a science division, get them to study up on the effects of nicotine on the body in relation to obesity, compare negative effects of smoking to obesity, and show the public and government that smoking is net positive in comparison.¨

¨OK but what about...¨ and before Jack could finish his statement, the figures dispelled into the air, a ghostly dissipating cloud of dust.

Jack once again turned and faced out the window and slowly his face formed into a smirk. ¨How about that Luther? Hope you’re still feeling smug about that cigarette cancer link. When the public learns about this, you’re history,¨ Jack uttered towards the window. Jack’s hands probed his trouser pocket, withdrawing a lighter and pack of Monbiro reds. His right hand expertly extracted a cigarette and placed it between his lips, while his left fluidly lit it. His chest raised, held, and fell, his mouth releasing a cloud of obesity curing smoke.