Aleister’s Honeymoon

by Gavin Partida

The shutter of the Brownie box camera echoed along the walls of the 2nd great pyramid. “That one should turn out great!” Rose shouted to her newly wedded husband. “Yeah it better, that was the seventh and final picture I’m posing for,” Aleister replied. The couple locked arms and walked away from the pyramid. The sky was a brilliant pink from the setting sun. The two walked toward their camels that they had rented for the day. “Why did we have to rent out these vile stinking creatures, Rose?” Aleister groaned. “You know what they say, ‘When in Rome!’ or should I say, Egypt!” Rose said. “Be quiet, Rose, and get on your camel.” The couple rode back into Giza. The streets were bustling with activity, even after the sun went down. Automobiles and horse drawn carriages zoomed passed, almost colliding with their camels.   “This place is even crazier than London!” Rose exclaimed. The couple tied up their camels outside their hotel. Aleister looked at the cafe in the adjacent building to the hotel, where locals were blowing pungent smelling smoke from hookahs. “Aleister, I don’t know about this.” Rose said worriedly. “Well you know what they say, When in Rome!” Aleister said mockingly. The couple walked in and ordered some tea and tried the local flavor. After an hour, the couple decided to return to their hotel. The night began to blur as they stumbled up to their bedroom. Rose went straight for the bathroom, where she stayed for the rest of the night. “Well there goes the first night of our honeymoon,” Aleister groaned. He sprawled out on the large sized mattress, and fell asleep fairly quickly, despite the awful sounds coming from the bathroom.

    Aleister was almost blinded by the searing desert sunlight. He walked down the stairs of the hotel, which he could have sworn were carpeted with a magnificent pattern and not made of hard stone. He opened the door of the hotel and immediately became sick to his stomach. There were no longer automobiles, or even horse drawn carriages. The streets were no longer littered with beggars or salesmen. The city of Giza was no longer city living in the shadow of its history. It was just like the illustrations in the history books Aleister had read so much of in school. The pyramids were enormous and smooth. The sphinx not only still bore its nose, but it was painted with magnificent colors and seemed to stand guard over the entire city. Aleister started walking toward the pyramids, which interested him greatly. Every person he passed was dressed in the fashion of the ancients. Their faces painted as vibrant as the sphinx's, with grand assortments of jewels hanging from their necks and ears. There was a strange aura surrounding the entire city. That aura seemed to be centered around the great pyramid of Giza. It seemed to beckon to him, almost as if it was calling his name. “Aleister….Aleister…..ALEISTER!” He opened his eyes and saw his wife standing on the side of the bed. “You just let me sleep there, in the bathroom, in a puddle of my own vomit?!” Rose shouted. “Some marriage this is going to be! Where I can’t even count on my husband to…” “Quiet, Rose. Get your things.” Aleister interrupted. “Excuse me?! Where is it that you want to go to so badly?” “Giza” Aleister said.

    The day was noticeably hotter than the last. Their camels were in a progressively worse mood than the previous day as well. “Just walk forward you dumb animal!” Aleister screamed at his stubborn camel who refused to walk any further. “Fine! Good luck finding work in this God-forsaken desert!” The couple continued on foot toward the great pyramid. The strange aura that surrounded the pyramid in Aleister’s dream had never left. They arrived at the base of the pyramid, where their guide awaited them along with a middle aged American couple with 2 girls. “Alright group! Lets get going!” Their guide Ahmed said. The group entered a small doorway at the base that lead to a narrow tunnel system that led all throughout the pyramid. Ahmed confidently lead the group, lighting the way by a lantern. The American family closely followed. Their apprehension was noticeably evident because of the questions they were asking. “Are these tunnels….booby trapped?” the wife asked. Ahmed began to reassure the Americans, explaining how these pyramids have been explored thousands of times. The group continued on throughout the tunnels, taking countless twists and turns which made Aleister wonder how any could ever find there way out. The group walked further and were faced with a fork in the tunnel. “We need to go through the left tunnel at this fork. These tunnels were made into a labyrinth to prevent grave robbers from stealing the treasures that were housed in these pyramids” Ahmed informed the group. “Onward we-” just then, the ground below them began to shake violently. Sand fell down through every crack above them. The Americans began to scream as Aleister took Rose’s hand. Ahmed let out the loudest scream of the entire group as he dropped the lit torch, which burnt out as soon as it hit the ground. The tunnel was now pitch black as the quaking pyramid came to rest. The only sounds now were the hyperventilated cries from the American family, and Ahmed. “Find that god damned torch! I need to see where we are!” Aleister yelled at Ahmed. “Ok! Ok! I’m trying!” Ahmed retorted in a cracked voice. “Here it is!” With a couple clicks! of his zippo, the room became illuminated. The groups jaws dropped as the torchlight danced along the walls. They were no longer in a narrow passageway with a fork directly in front of them. They were in a huge open room, the floors of which were covered with bones.

“Allah…” Ahmed cried. “Where are we!? What has happened!?” The American Husband yelled. “I don’t know?” Ahmed snapped. “Well you’re the tour guide! Are we going to end up like them!?” the husband yelled as he pointed to the bones. The two girls began to cry. “Quiet!” Aleister yelled. He began to search the room. At one end stood a dark doorway. On the opposite, a huge hieroglyph that depicted two Egyptian gods, Nuit and Horus. “Interesting. They refer to Horus as ‘Hoor-paar-kraat’” Aleister said under his breath. Aleister walked over to Ahmed. “Give me a torch,” he said. Ahmed fearfully obeyed. He lit Aleister’s torch and handed it to him. “This is not an exhibition, sir. Our lives are at stake! We need to get out of here!” The husband yelled. “Then leave! and take Ahmed with you!” Aleister yelled. The group gasped and headed out the  door. Aleister began to study the walls. Between the two gods was a third figure that was completely unknown to Aleister. This figure was raising its arms towards a human. The human seemed to be being manipulated by the third God. “Aiwass.” Aleister read the wall aloud. “Rose, come look at this! I’ve never seen any hieroglyphs like this before!....Rose?” Aleister turned around. His wife was standing in the center of the room with a blank expression on her face. “Rose what’s wrong? You’ve been quiet for so long.” He walked towards her but was blown back by an immense force. Rose began to levitate from the ground and stared directly at Aleister. “Had! The manifestation of Nuit. The unveiling of the company of heaven. Every man and every woman is a star. Every number is infinite; there is no difference. Help me, o warrior lord of Thebes, in my unveiling before the Children of men!” Rose yelled, in a voice that was completely foreign to her own. Aleister brought his attention to the wall again. “The Gods are talking to me,” Aleister said. “Behold! it is revealed by Aiwass the minister of Hoor-paar-kraat.” the voice boomed. “The Gods are talking to me!” Aleister scrambled to get his pen and pad of paper out of his bag. He began to write down what the Gods were saying to him. This continued for three days. At the end of the third day Rose collapsed to the ground and all communication with Aiwass ended. He ran over to Rose and helped her to her feet. “What happened?” Rose said dazedly. “I’ll tell you after we get out of this horrible pyramid. The two walked into the black door, which led directly outside where they entered. It was night out and the couple walked back to their hotel. Aleister grabbed the notebook in which he wrote down Aiwass’s words, and wrote Liber al Legis on the cover. “What is that?” Rose asked. “It’s a new religion.” Aleister replied. “Aiwass called it Thelema, and this is the Book of the Law.”