I have come to realize that lots of movie stars can be put into one of two categories: Some are black holes, sucking up all the energy in the room, and some are supernovas, radiating it back outwards like a great, big atomic blast. Some inspire people to empathize through their emotions and others are just pretty faces on the big screen. Robin Williams was a man who could do both. He tackled huge roles, the animated genie in Disney’s “Aladdin” comes to mind. A couple of my favorite movies with him, “Good Morning Vietnam”, “Hook”, and “Mrs. Doubtfire,” were the signs of a true supernova. Other times he burrowed so deep into the soul of a character, you could almost assume it was his actual life as he did in “Good Will Hunting” or “World’s Greatest Dad”.

My first visual impression of Robin Williams is he reminded me of grandpa. Specifically, that funny, down to earth grandpa kids say they wish they had. (My grandpa rocks so I’m not saying I want a different one). However, you could see yourself sitting down and having a real and lively conversation with him. I feel like you would never run out of ideas to talk about. I remember him pretending to play a woman in the movie, Mrs. Doubtfire. What initially drew me to him was his versatility, and due to his diverse personality, he has reminded me of many things.

For example, He reminds me of this really adorable puppy I saw the other day at the beach. My boss had just gotten this new puppy and he was so cute that you wanted to be around it at all times. I was drawn to this puppy. Everyone was. Like this puppy, Robin Williams infectious smile also drew people to him. Everyone wanted to see him on television and in movies. People were excited to see him just as I was to see this puppy.

My boss told me they had a new puppy because the dog they previously had passed away. I had been so distracted by his adorable new puppy, I had not realized that his other dog was missing. I feel like this is the same for Robin Williams! Sorta. I think that just like the puppy, there is more to Robin Williams then what people see or care about. He was battling alcoholism and depression. People did not immediately take note of the fact that Robin was struggling as I did not initially take note of the missing dog. I think this is because all we see is what is right in front of us and forget to look deeper. I didn’t look deeper when I was the puppy, I was too excited. Sometimes, it is hard for people to look past what we first see.

Robin reminds me of the sad clowns back during Europe's romantic periods. I was reading about them and back then, the clowns costume was suppose to romantically masks inner turmoil. The joy and humor from Robin Williams likely masked the daily torment he faced in his on-again-off-again struggle with depression.

There is a lot of speculation about the death of Robin Williams. I feel like he just never got the proper help he seemed to need. Now don’t get me wrong, none of us know for sure what went wrong or what led up to his death. However, he was married with three grown children, I guess I just assumed he was fairly happy. He must have been able to access the best doctors or seek any possible care. If he couldn’t, wouldn’t, or just didn’t even though he could have, how many other people are like him? Speaking of which, mental illness is a big deal that seems to be put on the back burner to all the other stupid stuff that goes on in this world. If he worked with St Jude’s, did he he work with a mental illness group?

Robin Williams was brilliant, and he brought joy to so many others. Yet it seems that inner peace escaped him.

You never really know what goes on inside someone's head. We all wear a mask.